Ramblings of an idle mind...

I started to write about my life at the end of the college… But I then realized that I can’t do it… It seems simply not possible for me to write down the countless sundry of emotions, people and incidences of the college that have completely changed me and my life… neither would it be possible for me to do justice to all the people who have played such a humungous part in transforming me, no matter how short or insignificant a time I have spent with them… I can only think of a clichéd sentence that suits my feelings right now… the place wouldn’t have been the same if it weren’t for the people who made the experience beautiful…


It wasn’t even a week after I reached home… to be more precise 4 days after reaching home… I haven’t even started enjoying my vacations… haven’t even started the umpteen plans I had for the vacation… haven’t even come out of the nostalgia of leaving college… That one fine night I got the mail for joining the company within 15 days… all I could think that night was “Why Me???”…. I was so much looking forward for these vacations… with no useless training for nothing, these vacations were all that I thought and planned for during my exams… only thing that helped me sustain the awful end sems… All my plans down to drain in an email…

Then started the endless nerve-racking… should I accept or defer… where will I stay… with whom shall I stay… what about the food…conveyance…laptop… internet connection… were the basic thoughts in my mind…


The most difficult part was to show to my parents that I am confident about this when in reality my insides were cringing with doubts on my ability… My parents, like anyone else’s, want me to achieve heights but fear that I might stumble on the way… and this kept them uneasy about letting me go any farther than the nearest city… So I took it as my responsibility to show them that I was an adult and responsible enough to take care of myself…


I called some of the others who are also supposed to join with me… Everyone else seemed quite casual and almost indifferent… So then why was I freaking out…..? Take a breath.. I said to myself…breathe in and breathe out…


Now that the initial adrenaline has worn off… I feel quite peaceful and confident about myself… This is what I have always dreamt of since I was a girl… to have an independent life… to have money of my own to spend… to be able to help my dad in the home economics… to be able to buy gifts for mom with my money… to support myself while doing what I really like… it’s a dream come true for me… may be that is why I fear the most… because it is a big deal for me…